never say YES when you mean NO
"Say no to a thousand things so that you can say yes to the few that really matter."
Redzwan A. Rahim
Saying 'NO'. I always have a problem with that. Every time someone asks for help or wants something from me, no matter how busy or unavailable I am I don't know how to say NO. It gets me all the time. Sometimes they want to borrow something that I need or I care about so much that it would worry me if it is in other people's hand. Still, I couldn't find the strength to say NO. I just couldn't bring myself to let down a friend when they needed help. Each time they ask for help I would think...'What if it is me that is asking for their help? How would I feel if they refuse to help me?' and that thought will automatically block any sentence that consists the word NO from coming out of my mouth. There are times when the things that I lent them got lost or broken but I tend to think it was an accident. They didn't mean to lose or break it on purpose. So I'll tell them that it's OK. A friend once told me not to be too lenient about my possessions. Those are my things and I have the right to say NO but I just don't have the heart to do it. I know I have to somehow learn to say NO and I will.
Saying 'NO'. I always have a problem with that. Every time someone asks for help or wants something from me, no matter how busy or unavailable I am I don't know how to say NO. It gets me all the time. Sometimes they want to borrow something that I need or I care about so much that it would worry me if it is in other people's hand. Still, I couldn't find the strength to say NO. I just couldn't bring myself to let down a friend when they needed help. Each time they ask for help I would think...'What if it is me that is asking for their help? How would I feel if they refuse to help me?' and that thought will automatically block any sentence that consists the word NO from coming out of my mouth. There are times when the things that I lent them got lost or broken but I tend to think it was an accident. They didn't mean to lose or break it on purpose. So I'll tell them that it's OK. A friend once told me not to be too lenient about my possessions. Those are my things and I have the right to say NO but I just don't have the heart to do it. I know I have to somehow learn to say NO and I will.
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1 flew over the cuckoo's nest:
Not saying NO does not always mean you are an angel or better person than the rest. You may cause trouble to others. I always hate the heroin in the love movie or drama who cannot say black is black. And white is white. They just love to stay grey and whether with or without intention, "use" the guys who are blinded and chasing after her. That is to mention one example. Ahaks.
So be careful. Maybe one way to practise say No is by remembering how hard your parents facing stress at work, fighting with sweat, blood and tears just to provide you with all good stuff that you just havent got a gut to say No to give or lend to someone... who may end up lose it or break it. And I dont say it is easy to do, tho. And I dont say that you have to be kedekut. Depends on situation, ok.
Good luck and take care.
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