i just said the hardest NO

I talked to a very dear friend of mine very recently. He often calls and we would talk about things. I guess I'm kinda like his confidante. But life really knows how to surprise you when you least expect it. He always confide. So, when I was answering his call I never expected that I would be hearing something else. A confession.

It really stunned me. For a long moment I didn't know what to say and when I finally figured out an answer I was struggling for a way to say it. I was looking for a way to explain. How do I say it without hurting his feelings? Saying no to a complete stranger is easy. Saying no to someone you hate is even easier. But saying no to someone you know so well and cared about so much is the hardest thing to do. At least for me, it is.

I said it anyway. Trying my best to explain. Choosing my words carefully so as not to hurt him. I do love him. The way a sister loves a brother. I couldn't picture us being anything more than that. It was totally platonic. And I had to let him know that. So I did.

I know he will be reading this sooner or later. That is why I'm posting this. I want him to know that I'm truly sorry if somehow my words managed to find their way to hurt him. I appreciate the courage. I know it wasn't easy. He said things will not be the same again. At least not for now. For that, I want him to know that whenever he is ready to call me a friend again, I will be right here. Always trying to reply his "hye"s. Always willing to hear his stories. Always happy to be his friend.

Again, I'm really sorry.


5 flew over the cuckoo's nest:

sYafiQ said...

whos dat?

Farani Mustafa said...

To always know what to do is inhuman.

To always never know what to do is stupid.

But to think clearly what you want... Thank God, at least ur not syafiq~

This decisions... They'll never be simple. Yet they'll never be too hard.

Otit said...

what? you just dumped a guy?hayooo..
hahaha..respect la..saying the hardest no.
that's like thousand time better than you don't say it but really mean it.like,being hypocrite to the person.kan. hehe.whatever you are saying no to, i just salute your courage girl.

mocQachinno said...

Thanx.. but it's not something i'm proud of. all i know is that it's the right thing to do. or at least, i hope it is.

Najeeha Rahim said...

Eqa, who's he(or she *o*).Hehe. Well eventhough your'e not proud of it, it's better than doing the 'pity date'. And by the way, you are right, my anonimity is not cool, it's AWESOME!

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