i woke up early this morning. because i dreamt of something so bad. so bad that i woke up crying. shaking, gasping for air, i was crying so hard. and it frightened me that i cried so hard over a dream nightmare. all because it felt so real. too real. i woke up and found my hands covering my face in an act of protecting myself. shielding from what will hit me. i didn't know it would still haunt me. after all this years. i didn't know it would still hurt. i dreamt about being hurt but when i woke up, the pain is still there. i could still feel it. so i cried. how ironic it is, that i dared not cry in my dream. but as soon as i realise that i was no longer dreaming, the tears that rolled down my cheeks were unstoppable. i thought i had forgotten about it. i never ever want to remember how it feels again. so please. PLEASE. i'm begging you, stop haunting me.

KACA ANGKASA (written & composed by Wani Ardy)

Aku kasihan dengan mereka
Yang tidak tahu beza kaca permata
Aku kasihan dengan mereka
Yang tidak tahu syukur apa ada

Punya teman, kita lemparkan
Dunia luas, apa yang dihairan
Manusia mudah terasa
Merumitkan apa yang biasa

Apa perlunya dendam segala
Bila ada Tuhan dan karma
Apa jaminan kita kekal sama
Persetan kenal sebulan atau sedekad

Punya teman, kita lemparkan
Dunia luas, apa yang dihairan
Manusia mudah terasa
Merumitkan apa yang biasa

“Siapa yang mahu
menadah sambut
kaca dari angkasa?”

Yang kita betul hendak, seribulah menapak
Yang kita sudah enggan, melangitlah hujahan
Kita kaca bagi yang buta
Manusia mudah terasa
Merumitkan apa yang biasa

(Lagu ada di bawah. Track 19.)

OKAY. this is for the GUYS out there who are often confused by answers women gave them. apparently, some of you might have heard that what women say isn't really what they mean. this is related to yet another theory which says women doesn't really know what they are doing. for all that, let me explain to you guys what women really mean by their words. LADIES, you might disagree with this but let's face it. they ARE true. so here goes:

1. FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. FIVE MINUTES - if she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. NOTHING - this is the calm before the storm. this means something, and you should be on your toes. arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE.
4. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!
5. LOUD SIGH - this isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. a LOUD SIGH means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about NOTHING. (refer back to #3 for the meaning of NOTHING.)
6. THAT'S OKAY - this is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. THAT'S OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. THANKS - a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. just say 'you're welcome'. (i want to add in a clause here - this is true, unless she says 'thanks a lot' - that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a WHATEVER.)
8. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying F-YOU!
9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT - another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. this will later result in a man asking 'what's wrong?'. for the woman's response, refer to #3.

"Time takes it all. Whether you want it to or not, time takes it all away, time bares it away. And in the end, there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again." - Stephen King