a nightmare.

i woke up early this morning. because i dreamt of something so bad. so bad that i woke up crying. shaking, gasping for air, i was crying so hard. and it frightened me that i cried so hard over a dream nightmare. all because it felt so real. too real. i woke up and found my hands covering my face in an act of protecting myself. shielding from what will hit me. i didn't know it would still haunt me. after all this years. i didn't know it would still hurt. i dreamt about being hurt but when i woke up, the pain is still there. i could still feel it. so i cried. how ironic it is, that i dared not cry in my dream. but as soon as i realise that i was no longer dreaming, the tears that rolled down my cheeks were unstoppable. i thought i had forgotten about it. i never ever want to remember how it feels again. so please. PLEASE. i'm begging you, stop haunting me.

the road to truth


KACA ANGKASA (written & composed by Wani Ardy)

Aku kasihan dengan mereka
Yang tidak tahu beza kaca permata
Aku kasihan dengan mereka
Yang tidak tahu syukur apa ada

Punya teman, kita lemparkan
Dunia luas, apa yang dihairan
Manusia mudah terasa
Merumitkan apa yang biasa

Apa perlunya dendam segala
Bila ada Tuhan dan karma
Apa jaminan kita kekal sama
Persetan kenal sebulan atau sedekad

Punya teman, kita lemparkan
Dunia luas, apa yang dihairan
Manusia mudah terasa
Merumitkan apa yang biasa

“Siapa yang mahu
menadah sambut
kaca dari angkasa?”

Yang kita betul hendak, seribulah menapak
Yang kita sudah enggan, melangitlah hujahan
Kita kaca bagi yang buta
Manusia mudah terasa
Merumitkan apa yang biasa

(Lagu ada di bawah. Track 19.)

9 deadly words used by women

OKAY. this is for the GUYS out there who are often confused by answers women gave them. apparently, some of you might have heard that what women say isn't really what they mean. this is related to yet another theory which says women doesn't really know what they are doing. for all that, let me explain to you guys what women really mean by their words. LADIES, you might disagree with this but let's face it. they ARE true. so here goes:

  1. FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
  2. FIVE MINUTES - if she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  3. NOTHING - this is the calm before the storm. this means something, and you should be on your toes. arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE.
  4. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!
  5. LOUD SIGH - this isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. a LOUD SIGH means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about NOTHING. (refer back to #3 for the meaning of NOTHING.)
  6. THAT'S OKAY - this is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. THAT'S OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
  7. THANKS - a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. just say 'you're welcome'. (i want to add in a clause here - this is true, unless she says 'thanks a lot' - that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a WHATEVER.)
  8. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying F-YOU!
  9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT - another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. this will later result in a man asking 'what's wrong?'. for the woman's response, refer to #3.

so there you go, guys. i hope this will more or less help you in understanding/dealing with women. my best wishes go to you guys. =P

someone to live with, someone to die for

When life comes rushing at you out of the darkness who will you choose to face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise? And will their love for you help them to guide you to the light, or will they lose their way in the darkness? Will they make noble choices? Or will that person be untested, someone new? 

Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness. When it does, is there someone in your life you can count on -- someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall, and in that moment, give you the strength to face your fears alone?

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fears bravely or move forward with faith? Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?

At this moment there are 6,975,235,700 people in the world. Give or take a few. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes all you need is one. For better or for worse.

"Time takes it all. Whether you want it to or not, time takes it all away, time bares it away. And in the end, there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again." - Stephen King

just one year to go.

i can't believe i'm already in the end of my third year of studying chemical engineering. it felt almost too soon and now i'm already preparing for my internship. what a semester these past four months have been. since the beginning of this semester i've stopped dancing for a while so i can focus more on my studies. goodness, do i miss dancing now. this semester i'm all about getting my grades up - which by far is going pretty good. my final exam starts this week. yesterday, to be exact, and the first paper went really well. i was all smiles when it ended. although, it is still way too soon to be celebrating. i still have four more papers and when i'm done with that, i'll be going back to kl immediately to prepare for my internship.

i'm excited and at the same time nervous to start my internship once my exams ended.

musim durian dah mula!!

Yeay!! Musim durian dah nak mula lagi!! Tak sabar rasa nak balik kampung makan durian longgok berbakul2. Teringat pula dulu waktu kami sekeluarga sekali dengan nenek, makcik2, pakcik2 dan sepupu sepapat menyerbu sebakul besar durian sebab tengah musim. Kebetulan masa tu raya aidilfitri dan giliran kami sekeluarga beraya di Malaysia. Sampai sakit2 perut kami melayan durian. Ada yang sampai demam2 siap. Orang kata, tak payah mengaku orang Perak lah kalau tak makan durian. Hahaha..saya setuju!

Disebabkan tak sabar nak tunggu betul2 musim durian, hari Khamis lepas saya dan En. Kopi 'O' pun pergi lah ke Kuantan dengan misi mencari durian. Sebenarnya En. Kopi 'O' yang teringin sangat nak makan durian. Saya biasa je sebab sebelum tu dah makan dengan roommate2 terchenta. Disebabkan keteringinan yang tak dapat dibendung, saya pun temanlah En. Kopi 'O' pergi menjejak durian.

Jalan punya jalan, kami ternampak ada satu gerai tepi jalan jual durian. Ada dua orang apek jaga durian tu. Kami pun berhenti tepi jalan dan pergi meninjau2. Harga durian masa tu agak mahal sebab belum betul2 musim lagi. Tapi sebab teringin sangat nak makan, En. Kopi 'O' tak kisah. Dia beli juga. So kami beli sebiji durian D24 dengan harga RM28. Beli sebiji je sebab yang nak makan kami berdua je. 'Biar mahal asal tak kempunan'.

Dah kata teringin sangat nak makan, memanglah tak tahan bau durian tu bila letak dalam bonet. Rasa nak buka dan makan masa tu juga. Tapi kena cari tempat yang sesuai. So kami pun pergi ke Teluk Cempedak. (mana lagi tempat sesuai nak menikmati makanan, mestilah kat pantai kan!) Bila dah buka durian tu lagi lah kami teruja. Isi durian tu SANGAT tebal, gebu dan manis! Tebal sangat sampai saya hanya larat makan seulas je. By the time nak makan ulas kedua, saya dah tak larat nak habiskan. Apa lagi, En. Kopi 'O' pun seronok la habiskan yang selebihnya. 

Sekian cerita pengembaraan kami mencari durian di kala musimnya baru nak mula. Akhirnya memang kami puas hati dapat makan durian yang sangat sedap. Oh ye, maaf lah gambar kualiti Sony Ericsson 2 megapixels je. Itu je yang ada masa tu. Hehehe~

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