Purple Perpetuity

This post had been postponed due to some technical difficulties. However, all is fine now and I am finally able to post about my cousin, Intan Mazwin's recent wedding to her fiance, Mohd Norizam. The wedding ceremony was held on the 17th of August, 2008 at Dewan Tun Abdul Razak, Tg Malim, Perak. The wedding was in several tones of dazzling purple courtesy of the bride's interest in that particular colour. It was indeed a beautiful and pleasant moment and its moments were captured in these pictures...

The Wedding Dais
Before the Arrival
The Bride and Groom
The ArrivalThe Prayer Citation
Purple Perpetuity
Nenek Performing the 'Tepung Tawar'Acu aka Mama Performing the 'Tepung Tawar'The Bridal FeastMy Mom, Sister and I After the Wedding

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
admit impediments. Love is not love
which alters when it alteration finds,
or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh, no! It is an ever-fixed mark.
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
it is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
within his bending sickle's compass come;
love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
but bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
(Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare)

row, row, row your boat..

Like every Wednesday night, we had our RAKSI last night. In the beginning, we were all hesitant to go because of the numerous assignments and upcoming tests but we went anyways as it was compulsory for first-year students. This time, the task was to make a boat out of nothing but paper and plastic straws. We were separated into two groups and the winner will be chosen according to the boat's endurance and our creativity. It should be big enough for three persons to sit on. We started clueless but eventually enjoyed making the boat once we got the hang of it..and what you see in the picture was the result. It was not that handsome or charming but at least it did look like a boat. And it was really a memorable moment.
PS: neither of the groups won.

Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself and saw a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you, how many moments of other people's lives we've been in. Were we part of someone's life when their dream came true, or were we there when their dreams died? Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it.

never say YES when you mean NO

"Say no to a thousand things so that you can say yes to the few that really matter."

Redzwan A. Rahim

Saying 'NO'. I always have a problem with that. Every time someone asks for help or wants something from me, no matter how busy or unavailable I am I don't know how to say NO. It gets me all the time. Sometimes they want to borrow something that I need or I care about so much that it would worry me if it is in other people's hand. Still, I couldn't find the strength to say NO. I just couldn't bring myself to let down a friend when they needed help. Each time they ask for help I would think...'What if it is me that is asking for their help? How would I feel if they refuse to help me?' and that thought will automatically block any sentence that consists the word NO from coming out of my mouth. There are times when the things that I lent them got lost or broken but I tend to think it was an accident. They didn't mean to lose or break it on purpose. So I'll tell them that it's OK. A friend once told me not to be too lenient about my possessions. Those are my things and I have the right to say NO but I just don't have the heart to do it. I know I have to somehow learn to say NO and I will.

the black parade

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do."

I've always love jungle trekking and camping but I've never imagined myself being left alone in the jungle at night. If given the ability to choose, I would never have chosen to stand alone surrounded by the eerie silence of the jungle. But my preference didn't matter when my group of twelve first-year female students were sent out in the middle of the darkest of nights carrying only a map, a torch light and a compass. We were to find our way through the darkness and look for Osama Laden in the form of a twelve-inch bamboo in an empty, abandoned house.

Despite being the youngest of the group, I have to lead them through this whole program. Their health and performance were my responsibilities. But they were all very cooperative and considerate enough to make things easier for me.

A group was sent off every 30 minutes and our group was the sixth of ten. We started our 'Osama' hunt at exactly 1.45 am. With the map as our sole guide, we headed into the darkness. We were walking cautiously in 6 rows - two in each row. It was like a mini exodus, a black parade. The path was gravelly for the first 10 minutes. There was no sound except for the silent zikr each of us was citing. As we reached the edge of the jungle I was getting more and more anxious. I couldn't wait to get it over with. The dual line form we were in became a single one as the path was too narrow and fit for only one person at a time. I was in front of the line. Holding the torch light firmly in one hand and the map in another, I carefully led the group into the blindness of the jungle. Teamwork and tolerance kept us on the right route although we need to turn back every time we were off track.

Through teamwork and tolerance did we manage to reach the empty house on time. It was lit with dim lights. We couldn't find the twelve-inch bamboo after searching the parameter of the house for an hour. Only after that did we realize we were searching the wrong house. It was supposed to be the other house that we missed because there was absolutely no light whatsoever in that area. We had to go back to into the absolute darkness again. I was about to give up as I was already at my limits. But thinking of the other members of the team, giving up was not my choice. As said by Hannah Arendt : Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival. I knew I have to finish this dreadful journey.

We got to the creepy abandoned house and started searching for 'Osama'. This time we were able to get inside of the building. There were lots of old furniture, drawers and cupboards. There was a calendar still hanging on the wall which stated the year 1887. After circling the building countless times we were grateful to finally found the so-called 'Osama' and headed to the base camp. It was 4.00 am when we reported to the commander. It was so late and the hunt took a long time - not to mention a lot of energy - but it was so worth it when we finally held the twelve-inch bamboo.

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the morning. Before heading back to UMP we took our chance to visit the museum nearby and had a blast of air batu campur and keropok lekor before hopping on the bus. Thinking back, I realized that the 'journey through darkness' has opened my eyes to a whole new level of capabilities. As I have once stated in my previous post:

'It is only when you're tested that you discover who you truly are and who you can be.'

this blur called life

She loses herself in a song
doesn't want to be found
lets her worries fall to the ground

plays it louder again and again
doesn't want the tears to begin
to just forget the places she's been

if only these notes
were a cure to her pain
for the tears that still remain

no voice speaks loud enough
it seems she's heard it all
now she puts up this wall

in hopes that someone
will tear it down
and forever wipe off her frown

it's not what she wants
as tears stream down her face
she's lost something that she cannot replace

all she wanted, all she needs
is someone to hold her
and make sense of this blur

fight or flight?

When confronted by our worst nightmares, the choices are few. Fight or flight. We hope to find the strength to stand against our fears. But sometimes despite ourselves, we run. What if the nightmare gives chase? Where can we hide then?

Majlis Interaksi Mesra [MIM]

After weeks of preparation and a number of sleepless nights we - the JPKs of KK3 - handled the ceremony pretty well. The ceremony started a bit later than the scheduled time as we were waiting for the VIPs. As this is my first time being the person in charge of the publicity (publicity? why not..) and documentation, I was quite nervous. Wondering if I'll make any mistake or will there be any problems with the multimedia. Some of the JPK1 and JPK2 will be there. Some of the MPP will be there. Prof Jalil will certainly be there. However, with help and advices from all the seniors, members of the committee and Bro Jamil of MPP, the whole presentation went on beautifully. There was a discreet flaw when I didn't have time to turn on the gamelan music as Professor Jalil was walking too fast towards the stage. Fortunately, nobody noticed (I hope). Apart from that everything went on smoothly and I'm quite certain they liked the video that I made for them. All the slides and videos had hints of my trademark - butterflies. As the ceremony was for Kolej Kediaman 3 which is the girls' hostel, I figured butterflies wouldn't be a problem. It is tiring being one of the members of the committee but I enjoy every minute of it especially with seniors like Kak Izah, Kak Santini and Kak Deebah, my faithful friend-cum-partner Suria and everyone else whom are very nice and helpful. So guys, hontoni arigatougozaimasu!

the pain of losing a friend

Friends come and go…but true friends will remain in our hearts forever. Friendship is a powerful thing that can either make or break us. It’s up to us to differentiate between the pros and cons. Friendship makes the simplest, littlest things matter. Like every time you are having a bad day and by just being there they can make you smile again and enjoy the rest of the day without worries. Like each time you are hurt and they are always there to console you and mend your wounds. Every time you feel insecure or unsure they are always there to support you. And like all the times you are in trouble they are always there to back you up. Having new friends is always fun and exciting but losing one will cause a heartache so severe that it seems like there’s no convalescence.

How would you feel when the person you care about turns his back on you and walk away as if you never knew each other before? How would you feel when you found out that a friend you thought you knew so well and trust with all your heart turns out to be a whole different person?

I lost a friend so dear to me not too long ago. It hurts so much that sometimes I wish that I could turn back time and undo the things I did wrong, take back the words I shouldn’t have said and do the things that weren’t done then. Sometimes I wish I could make things right again. If only I had the chance...

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