took these while on our raya holidays last september.

now one's in malaysia and one's in brunei.

how i miss the these two girls right now.

more photos of the event here.

suka gambar ni. tak payah edit2. memang klasik. ni gambar nenek dan arwah atuk. kalau dalam family, kami panggil tok rahman dan puan normah. anak menantu panggil abah dan mak. cucu2 panggil atuk dan nenek. cicit2 panggil aki dan onyang.

masa gambar ni diambil, atuk dan nenek baru kahwin. kira masih honeymoon lagi la ni. masa tu umur atuk baru 20 tahun. sebaya aku sekarang. nenek pula 17 tahun. mudanya orang dulu2 kahwin. nenek cerita, sebelum mereka kahwin, masing2 tak pernah kenal. kahwin pun diatur oleh keluarga masing2. lagi konsep orang dulu2 yang aku rasa menarik: walaupun tak pernah kenal sebelum kahwin, boleh je hidup bahagia sampai ke cucu cicit. begitulah pentingnya restu keluarga, agaknya.

gambar ni aku jumpa dalam bilik nenek. terletak kemas dalam bingkai atas meja solek nenek. asalnya malam tu aku, mama dan aa (adik aku) bercadang untuk kebaya hunting. aku bercadang nak cari baju kebaya nyonya. mama kata nenek simpan lagi baju2 kebaya dia yang lama. aku dan adik aku pun teruja la nak tengok. kami memang cepat teruja dengan benda2 klasik ni. nak2 baju kebaya dulu2 memang cantik2. lain dari baju kebaya sekarang.

mama kata masa nenek muda2 dulu badan nenek besar badan aku je. jadi kemungkinan besar aku boleh muat baju kebaya vintage nenek tu. lagi la kami teruja. nenek kata baju2 lama dia simpan dalam almari berkunci dalam bilik tengah. almari tu pun klasik. jenis almari kayu yang guna kunci tulang. terasa juga la seram bila tengok barang2 lama. tapi bila fikir balik, barang2 tu kan nenek yang punya. tapi nenek tak ingat mana dia letak kunci tu. maka bertukarlah acara mencari kebaya menjadi acara mencari kunci.

masa nak cari kunci tu, nenek buka semua almari lama dia. aku dan adik aku terpegun melihat barang2 lama yang masih disimpan oleh nenek. gila klasik. coin pouch dulu2, cucuk sanggul besi, jam yang lagi tua usianya dari aku, semua barang lama dari zaman nenek muda. kami pun seronok je tolong selongkar.

tengah seronok selongkar tu kami terjumpa barang2 arwah atuk. tiba2 mood dalam bilik tu jadi sayu teringatkan arwah atuk. atuk pandai gunting rambut. dulu rambut anak2 dan cucu2 dia semua dia potong sendiri. gunting yang dia guna dulu, nenek simpan lagi. kalau ada barang2 rosak atuk suka baiki sendiri. screwdriver yang dia guna untuk baiki benda2 tu, nenek simpan lagi. atuk dulu polis. kadang2 dia bersihkan pistol dia. kayu yang dia guna untuk bersihkan pistol dia tu, nenek simpan lagi. banyak lagi barang2 yang kalau kita tengok rasa macam tak penting je. tapi kami tahu nenek simpan barang2 tu semua kerana kenangan yang ada pada barang2 tu. semua gambar2 lama masa arwah atuk masih hidup, nenek tunjuk.

sambil tengah kemas tu, nenek cerita pasal arwah atuk. macam mana masa atuk masih ada dulu. kebiasaan atuk hari2. macam mana dia mula2 jumpa dengan atuk. lepas dia cerita, dia keluar dari bilik. dia kata dia nak pergi tengok makanan kat atas meja. padahal kami tahu. dia keluar sebab dia tak nak tunjuk dia sedih. kerana kami nampak butir air mata di hujung mata nenek. masa tu tiba2 je aku rasa sebak yang amat. padahal masa dengar nenek cerita sebelum tu aku ok je. siap boleh gelak2 sambil fikir 'sweet juga atuk dengan nenek aku dulu'. tapi bila nenek keluar je dari bilik, air mata aku tak berhenti mengalir. bukan sebab menangis. sebab sebak. aku pandang adik aku. rupa2nya dia pun sama. kami gelak nak hentikan air mata tapi tak boleh juga. jadi kami layankan je. bukan sedih. tapi sebak.

sebak macam tengok cerita titanic. macam masa aku tengok cerita daisy. sebab aku rasa cerita atuk dan nenek aku sama sweet dengan movie2 tu. macam mana atuk yang dengarnya digilai gadis muda zaman dia tetap setia pada nenek yang tak pernah jemu menjaganya. macam mana dua orang yang tak pernah kenal sebelum kahwin boleh saling sayang menyayangi sampai ke hembusan nafas terakhir. hingga ke saat2 terakhir atuk, nenek setia menunggu di sisi. dan dia tabah. dia tak tunjuk yang dia bersedih di depan atuk. tapi kami tahu, dialah yang paling sedih ketika itu. walaupun yang lain ke hulu ke hilir risau dan dia hanya duduk tak bergerak. walaupun yang lain meraung menangis dan dia hanya diam tak bersuara. kami tahu hati dia paling pedih. tapi nenek redha. dan macam mana nenek jaga barang2 atuk dulu. sebab dia sayang. dia rindu. itu yang membuatkan kami sebak.

sebab itu setiap kali balik kampung aku cuba sedaya upaya untuk buat nenek gembira. cuba kurangkan penat dia. layankan apa yang dikata. dan aku tahu ahli keluarga yang lain pun cuba buat yang sama. sebab aku tahu dalam hati dia sunyi. dia rindu. walau dia tak tunjuk. walau dia tak cakap. kami tahu.

raya kali ni arwah atuk tetap diingati. dan kami berdoa agar rohnya tenang bersama roh2 orang yang mulia. dan kami juga berdoa agar dipermudahkan segala urusan nenek. kerana dia dah tak larat untuk bersendirian. usianya menyekat dia dari bergerak seperti dulu. tapi nenek jangan risau. nenek kan ada lebih 50 orang bodyguard. =]

akhirnya kami tak jumpa pun kunci almari tu. kami jumpa sesuatu yang lebih berharga: kenangan nenek bersama atuk. dan baru kami tahu sedalam mana cinta nenek pada atuk. kalah romeo and juliet!

Happy Raya everybody! Yeah, I'm actually still in the mood for Raya celebrations. I've said it lots of time: this year's Raya is especially fun. Maybe it's because my family flew home from Brunei. Maybe it's because it has been a long time since I last went back to Tanjung Malim, Perak. Maybe it's because the whole Tok Rahman family had not gathered for a while. Or maybe it's all of the reasons mentioned.

My family (Papa, Mama, Aa, Aiman and Adib) arrived from Brunei a few days before Raya and we went to Tanjung Malim on Raya eve. Not everybody was there this year but it was merry enough. Pictures were taken, actions were recorded, moments were captured. It was indeed a lot of fun especially with the little nieces and nephews running around looking cute!

Happy Raya! =]

Subjects: eQa, Ika, Wawa & Mama
Photographers: mocQa, Chieka, Nudgey

The wedding ceremony was held the day after at StarCity Hotel, Alor Setar, Kedah. The bride works there. I woke up that morning with an eye-popping news that I am to be her bridesmaid that day. Being groggy from lack of sleep due to finishing the bunga telur the night before, I really didn't want to do it. But then I came to my senses. After all, I am the stand-in for the actual bridesmaid. So I got up and ready for my third time being a bridesmaid.

It was one of the most fun wedding I've been to. The wedding was as simple and sempoi but nice as can be. We actually talked and laughed on the stage. It was so much fun that I didn't realize the ceremony was about to end.

People who matters came and beautiful pictures were taken. Here's some to share with everyone.

with the bride's family


with the ladies of Tok Rahman Family




***************************************************************

May All Good Things Be YoursYour happiness begins
With your wonderful wedding day.
You’ll share everything together;
Through it all, your love will stay.Congratulations to you,
As you begin your happy life.
May all good things be yours,
As new husband and new wife.By Joanna Fuchs
***************************************************************

Mere words could not describe the intensity of my love for her, the greatness of my admiration for her strength and my idolization of her kind heart.

But if there is one thing that I could not do, it is to look into my mother's eyes. Whenever I look into those tired eyes I can see the pain, exhaustion and patience of a martyr that is well covered by her cheerful and happy personality. Indeed, she hides it well. I never did have the courage to see all the hardship she's been through to keep the family together and raise five mischievous children. And realize that she isn't getting any younger. She's not getting any stronger or healthier, too. Her age has taken it's toll on her. You can see it all in those eyes. So, I tend to look elsewhere whenever I'm talking to my mother. Anywhere but those tired eyes. I just couldn't bear it.

My mother is by far the most wonderful person I have ever known. The most wonderful person anyone can ever have as a mother (but of course, everybody will say the same thing about their mother). She will always be that most wonderful person to me. And I'm not sure that I can ever be even close to half the person she is now. For my sisters, my brothers and I, her actions has always been a reminder to be kind and courteous. To forgive and forget. And she has been the best example we can refer to.

Looking back, I know I have done so many wrongs to her. I owe her my time, attention and so much more. I don't know if I will ever have the guts to say to her what I'm writing here but I know that sooner or later she will read this as she is my devoted reader.

Ma, for all this 19 years of living I am sorry for the times I did not spend with you, the words that have broken your heart, the things I did not do and the things I did do that made you want to pinch my ear.

How I really, really miss resting my head on her lap, her soothing hugs and how happy and secure she made me feel by just being there. Not forgetting her perfect spaghetti, lasagna, muffins, chicken pie and mayo macaroni that will make you drool.

Really looking forward to seeing her end of this month. Can't wait!

Love you Ma,
eQa

I was just reading my mom's blog for like the 16th time. I just love the pictures that she posted along with the retelling of our latest holiday trip to Sabah last semester break. Those were some of the few pictures that survived when my dad accidentally formatted his laptop. And I'm sure glad they survived because the pictures were great hilarious!

This is one of the fun pictures that were
posted on antheqtpie titled All in the Family

aiman | mama | wawa | aa | papa | adib

As I'm preparing for my final exams which starts on the 3rd of November, my father is busy preparing for his flight to Pakistan on the same day. He will be flying there as a journalist on duty. It's good to know that he is doing something that he loves. What worries me is his safety over there.

Just yesterday, I heard over the news that southwest Pakistan was shaken by a 6.4 magnitude quake. Before that, a 7.6 magnitude earthquake struck Muzaffarabad in Pakistan. This is really starting to make me worried. To add to the already intense worry, there is a possibility that he is also going to Afghanistan. Now this is going to make me worried sick. Afghanistan is not a safe country to be in right now. Also from the news yesterday, I found out there was a suicide bombing which happened somewhere in the country and this is not the only one. Several bombings had happened in Afghanistan.

To Papa, while you are there, always remember that 2753 miles from you, your beloved daughter will always love you, hoping you are in great condition, praying for your health and safety. So please take care and be safe...

At the stroke of midnight of 15th September '08
MUHAMMAD AIMAN HAKEEM ABDUL RAHIM
has turned 9 years old.
CONGRATULATIONS LIL' BROTHER!
you're a year older

::9 wishes for a boy who just turned 9::
may happiness and success always be by your side
it takes a long time to grow old so take your time
don't be afraid to make mistakes because when you do, we'll be here to guide you
live your life bit by bit and enjoy every moment of it
always remember that we love you unconditionally
if you don't know where you're going, turn to us and we'll show you
keep honesty and purity in your heart
don't deny your right to laugh, love, try, hurt, need, fear and cry because that's what humans do
live everyday like it's your birthday

to aa and adib: be nice to him AT ALL TIMES. not just when you need somebody to go upstairs or play video games with you.
(i repeat, AT ALL TIMES) =p
to mama and papa: please watch over aa and adib. love and miss you guys SO MUCH!
to wawa: guess we'll be celebrating from here, sis.